


Remus Lupin, Sirius Black

by isbuckybarnesokay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, M/M, Marauders' Era, Remus Lupin Wears Sweaters, Sirius Black Has Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 08:39:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7884298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isbuckybarnesokay/pseuds/isbuckybarnesokay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of oneshots that will accumulate over time as I inevitably get the urge to make myself suffer through Wolfstar feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sirius and Remus go to the bookstore.

**Author's Note:**

> Sirius is a closeted poetry feen and Remus knows it.

"Oh, Sirius, look there," Remus murmurs, gesturing to the left of the footpath. He's caught sight of a bookstore. It's a small looking place, nestled comfortably between two much larger shops. It's exactly the kind of place that Remus Lupin likes best. Before he can even begin to utter his following question, Sirius smiles and wraps an arm around his hips. "Of course we can go in," the dark-haired boy tells him, a familiar loving sparkle in his eyes. Remus can't help but grin in response. 

That's something he's come to notice about Sirius; the boy loves to make other people smile, loves to see the people he cares about looking happy.

"C'mon," Sirius continues, stepping around the slight frame of the boy beside him and waggling his eyebrows. "Let's get lost in literature, my love."

It turns out that not only is it a bookshop, but the small humble place also doubles as a cafe. "It's a... A cafe library," Remus whispers, throwing an awed smile at Sirius and lacing their fingers together. "We're in a bloody cafe library," he repeats, clear excitement in his tone. "Merlin's pants, a cafe library."

Sirius can't help that he's staring at the boy whilst warmth floods through the pit of his stomach. To know that he, Sirius Orion Black, the Original Family Disappointment can have such a positive affect on someone will never get old. And when that someone is Remus Lupin, his Remus, well, nothing will ever beat it. 

"Pick something out for me then," He says, stepping away and indicating an over-stacked bookshelf with a flourish. "If it's good enough I might even bring us here again."

At his words, Remus actually springs forward, grasping his boyfriend's hand once more and dragging him further into the cozy shop. "Poetry, Teen Fiction- Oh, blow me down, they've got a whole section for Charles Dickens," he murmurs under his breath, running scarred fingers over the faded spines in front of him. "Have you read any Dickens?"

Sirius pulls himself out of his loving reverie and shakes his head at the question, raising an eyebrow. "You know I've never been around anything Mug- anything like this," he whispers, shooting a glance at the elderly woman behind the counter. She's watching them carefully, and Sirius realizes that he probably looks very out of place. Remus doesn't- Remus could never look out of place around books. Soft knitted sweaters and faded jeans fit the scene perfectly. Sirius on the other hand, is all ripped black skinny jeans and leather jackets, and his combat boots are starting to look a little worse for wear. Out on the streets of Muggle London it doesn't matter so much, but in this little bookshop he has a strange feeling that he sticks out like a sore thumb. 

He's wary from then on, sticking close to Remus as they trawl through aisle after cramped aisle of books. Despite his self-consciousness he can't help but admit that this is one of the coolest places they have ever been in.

As they round the end of an aisle and find themselves by the counter, Remus catches the elderly lady's eye and shoots her a soft smile. "If we want to read these while we're having a coffee do we need to pay first?" He asks, and Sirius knows he's worrying about not being able to afford the stack in his hands, not that he should. The woman smiles and tells him kindly that they're free to read in store, that people only have to pay if they want to take the books home. Remus thanks her with a beaming smile and orders two coffees, "One straight black and one with milk, two sugars and extra cream, if that's okay." After a moments hesitation he steps back to let Sirius pay. This is what they agreed, after all. This is Sirius' day to treat his well-deserving boyfriend.

"$4 for that, dear," the lady tells him, scanning the state of his ripped t-shirt with smiling eyes. "You're a picture perfect literature bad boy," she blurts out, blushing madly when Sirius stares at her in shock. It doesn't take long for him to recover, and he can't help but grin, even dropping the elderly lady a cheeky wink. "Well, that's very nice of you to say, sweetheart. Part of me thinks it's why this one likes me so much," he tells her, nodding in Remus' direction. The other boy scowls, stepping forward and digging his fingers lightly into Sirius' sides. "You know I like you for many reasons," he mumbles, failing to a hide a shy smile. "The bad boy looks are just an added bonus."

Sirius beams.

By the time their coffees are ready, Remus and the old woman are deep in a cheerful conversation on the topic of the Bronte sisters, and Sirius has drifted back to the poetry section. He's always been intrigued by the art form and back in the dorm he has a little box full of his own attempts, not that he'd ever tell anyone about it. Not even Remus. He might be growing evermore comfortable around the other boy but he's not sure that he'll ever be fully able to open up to others about the deepest parts of himself. 

What he doesn't realize is that Remus already suspects that his out-spoken, fun-loving boyfriend spends his darkest moments writing his feelings into heart breaking poetry. It's not as though he's always asleep when Sirius sneaks out of his bed to grab his parchment and quill, he was bound to notice eventually. In the beginning he'd thought the older boy had been writing letters, but after sneaking a glimpse of a illegibly scrawled passage one day, he'd come to realize that the boy was writing either poems or songs. He privately loves that his boyfriend has such a deep-thinking side to him.

"Hun," Remus whispers, coming up behind the avidly reading boy. "Coffee's ready," he tells him, waiting patiently as Sirius hurriedly puts the book back in it's place and takes one of the steaming cups from his hand. "Where would you like to sit?"

They end up by a window at small table that's surrounded by stacks of books and the odd indoor plant. From here they can see out on to the busy streets of Muggle London, but there's still that comfortable hidden-away feeling all around them. "I love it in here," Remus admits, smiling shyly over his coffee cup at the boy sitting across from him. Though, he thinks to himself, Sirius rarely ever simply sits- he tends to lounge, always looking slightly more perfect than should ever be allowed. "I can tell," Sirius smirks, indicating the small stack of books on the table between them. "I can also tell that you're planning on us being here for an extended amount of time." 

He loves Remus's sheepish grin. 

He loves Remus, he realizes.

"Anyway," he murmurs, trying to ignore the revelation he's just had. "What book did you pick out for me?" The question sparks Remus' nerdy attention and the boy smiles sheepishly again, pulling a small notepad out of the pile and handing it to the dark-haired boy, along with a weird blue stick. "I asked the lady at the counter if she had anything you could write with- It's a pen. We can't well just whip out a quill in here, can we? I just thought maybe you could try writing while I'm reading? I know it interests you a lot more than- than-" He stops short at the stunned look on Sirius' face, twisting his fingers together uncertainly. "If it's a silly idea you don't have to do it," he whispers, dropping his gaze and desperately willing away the blush that's creeping up the back of his neck. He thought it would be a good idea-

"I didn't think you'd notice anything like that about me," Sirius whispers, breaking up Remus' embarrassed thoughts. "You- I- What? You thought I wouldn't notice? How could I not notice something like this about you?" He asks, somewhat incredulously. "I notice- I notice everything about you, you stupid, interesting, gorgeous boy."

Sirius thinks that if he was more like Peter and less of a Badass with a capital B, he'd probably want to cry right now. In fact, he does want to cry right now. He looks down and away to try and hide his tear-filled eyes.

"Sirius?" Remus' voice has gone soft now, and Sirius watches silently as the other boy leans toward him across the table and wraps sweater covered hands around his own. "Did I say something wrong? You don't have to write- I'm sorry if I shouldn't have mentioned it. I just see you writing away at night sometimes and figured you might prefer to do that instead of read some silly Muggle novel. It's obvious how much you enjoy it, you write most nights..."

"I don't really think those novels are silly, Remus. I know you love them. I just- I didn't know that you knew- I didn't know that anyone knew about the writing thing. I didn't think anyone could care enough about me to notice something like that. I write because I'm always thinking too much and it helps me make sense of things." Sirius shakes his hair out of his eyes and flickers his uncertain gaze up to meet Remus'. He's never told anyone something like this before; he wasn't raised to be open about 'sappy' feelings.

"Oh, Sirius," Remus whispers, reaching one hand up to gently cup his boyfriend's chin. "I want to know everything about you- I care about all of the things that make you, you. I think it's wonderful that you use writing to deal with your thoughts. It's a very intelligent thing to do." He presses a single soft kiss to Sirius' pale forehead before sitting back a bit and moving the subject along to give the other boy some space. "So, you'll write?"

Sirius nods slowly, busying himself with drinking his coffee while he furiously blinks away the tears in his eyes. 

"Moony," he chokes out. "Moony- Remus. Remus, I love you."

There, he's said it. He loves him. He admits it. He absolutely loves the boy sitting across from him, the boy that notices and understands and loves despite his past. The boy who is staring at him in complete and utter shock with a smile the brighter than the sun spreading across his face. 

"M'God- I- I love you too, Sirius."


	2. Sirius and Remus have Many Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is a SASSY™ werewolf and Sirius always thinks too bloody much when he's alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100% unedited because it’s 11:44pm and I just this second finished writing and I’m eXCITED TO POST IT OKAY? IS THAT ALRIGHT? THAN K YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING (hopefully)! i will edit at some point in the near future (probably in approximately twenty minutes when i tell everyone i'm going to bed but end up back on here because i'm an antisocial internet addict with a wild hate for grammatical errors).
> 
> now edited (a day later, yes, ugh. i'm useless) but editing is definitely not my strong point, so please if you see an error, let me know! i won't take offence!

_James Potter is a noisy git._  
_He is so bloody noisy._  
_If he doesn’t shut the hell up within the next three minutes I am going to hex the happiness out of him and he will never, ever smile again. Screw the no-hexing while we’re sleeping pact that we made. I don’t care anymore. I’m going to do it. I’m going to bloody well do it, James, and I will not be sorry._

Remus is so tired. He’s been lying in his bed listening to James’ horrendously loud snoring for three hours now. In the beginning it was comforting – The last night before the full moon is always rough and knowing that his friends are close by is usually a massive comfort. Usually. But he’s three hours in now and James just _will not_ shut up and it’s making getting to sleep even more difficult than usual.

After ten more minutes of the incessant noise, frustration finally wins and Remus sits up with a loud huff. He’s tired, he’s sore and he just wants one more night of rest before he has to deal with the Wolf, with the change, the recovery, the pain, the hurt of it all. He just wants to sleep. Is that so damn much to ask?

He won’t really hex James, of course. Their friendship means far more to him than a decent night’s sleep.

 _I’m going to wait out the night in the common room. I’m going to sit by the fire and be warm and comfortable and hopefully I’ll manage some sleep there. And in the morning I am absolutely going to throttle James,_ Remus thinks, shuffling out from under his bed covers and drawing back the curtains. He stands slowly, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck from side to side. The aches and pains that the full moons bring make him feel as though he’s closer to 60 than he is to 16. _Damn Fenrir Greyback. Damn him to Hell._

It’s only when he gets as far as the dormitory door and glances back to check everyone is still asleep that Remus realizes he’s actually not the only one up so late. The bed directly opposite his own is also empty, curtains flung apart in a similar fashion to Remus’ own. There’s familiar frustration in the haphazardly hanging material and the sight of it is worrying. A frustrated Sirius never ends well for anyone, especially when it’s close to a full moon. He’s always easily agitated at this time of the month, and more protective of Remus than usual.

The sight of the empty bed draws a concerned frown across Remus’ brow and he exits the room quickly, pausing outside the door of the Boys Bathroom in hopes that Sirius might just have been desperate for a piss.

There’s no noise from within and so Remus continues down the staircase. He’s almost completely forgotten about James and his snoring.

As the Common Room comes in to view, the tired boy notes with a breath of relief that the fire is still burning merrily. The flickering of the flames casts a warm glow throughout the room, silhouetting the figure sitting in front of it.

“Sirius, there you are,” Remus murmurs, crossing the room swiftly to join his friend. It’s not until he’s only a few short steps away that he realizes the other boy is crying.

Shocked, Remus simultaneously tries to both stop walking and move faster, resulting in nothing more than him tripping over his own feet. He stumbles ungracefully across the remaining gap between the two of them. When he regains his balance he notices that Sirius hasn’t moved an inch and this is yet another big warning sign that something is wrong. Sirius _never_ cries and he’s _always_ moving. The guy is practically allergic to staying still.

Hesitantly, Remus kneels down in front of his friend, unsure of what to do. He’s never seen Sirius cry before and yet here there boy is, staring blankly into the fire with tears streaming down his cheeks. The sight makes Remus’ heart clench and he instinctively wraps his arms around the other boy’s shaking frame, pulling him to rest against his chest.

Sirius stiffens. Remus relaxes.

He’s finally got some kind of response out of the other boy and that’s all he needs to gain the confidence to do what he does next.

With gentle hands Remus begins to massage his friend’s shoulders in the same way that his own mother massages his own whenever he’s upset at home. It takes a few minutes but eventually Sirius begins to relax into the movement, head tilting forward and eyelids fluttering slightly. “That helping?” Remus whispers. Seeing Sirius like this is tearing him apart inside and he can’t stop wondering whether this has happened before. What if Sirius has been down here falling apart on other nights and Remus has just slept right through it?

He’s pulled from his thoughts when Sirius lifts his head sharply, meeting his gaze with panicked eyes. He’s evidently just realized exactly what’s happening and trying to guage how Remus is going to react.

“It’s okay, Sirius,” he says quietly, relaxing his grip on his friend’s shoulders ever so slightly. “I’ve got you, yeah? I’m here.”

It’s like watching floodgates open; Sirius’ eyes fill with a fresh wave of tears and he collapses forward to sob openly against Remus’ chest.

After a half-second of shock Remus snaps to life, gently shifting the crying boy to sit more comfortably in his arms, guiding Sirius’ head to rest in the crook of his neck. He alternates between rubbing circles into his back and just simply holding him close, rocking the two of them back and forth in a soothing motion.

“I’ve got you,” he whispers, again and again. _And I do_ , Remus thinks, struggling to hold back tears of his own. _I don’t know what’s wrong but I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere until I know you’re okay_. He repeats these words aloud after a few minutes, moving one hand from Sirius’ back to run through the hair at the back of the boy’s neck.

It takes a good half hour or so for Sirius to calm down enough to speak, and when he does the words are choked and teary.

“M’sorry, Moony.”

He stills his fingers in his friend’s hair.

“What could you possibly be apologizing for?” Remus asks in confusion, pulling back a bit to try and meet Sirius’ gaze. The boy avoids his eyes, choosing instead to stare intently at the collarbones of the boy in front of him. _They’ve always stood out just a little more than could possibly be classed as healthy_ , Sirius thinks, frowning with ever-present concern for his friend.

“You weren’t ever supposed to see this. You deal with enough already.”

Remus stills at the words, pulling away further still. A wave of anger rushes through him, not directed at Sirius, but at himself.

“If you think for a second-“ he chokes out, cursing softly when his own tears begin to overflow. He wipes them away furiously, shaking his head. _I’ve been so selfish. I’ve been so bloody selfish._

“Remus?” Sirius whispers, eyes widening when his friend grasps his shoulders in a sudden, tight grip.

“Sirius if I’ve made you think for a second that you’re not allowed to- to get upset or- or you can’t show your emotions because of- because what I go through, then- then I- I don’t know what to say. I’m so- I’m so sorry. I’m so bloody sorry. I can’t believe- I can’t- You- I-“

He’s cut off by a kiss.

And it’s not just any kiss. It’s a kiss he’s been dreaming about and envisioning and doing his utmost best to imagine for the past five years.

It’s a soft kiss; warm, and there are two sets of tears blending together on his cheeks. He’d never imagined having that as a part of it.

After a few breathless seconds, Remus pulls away and stares at Sirius with a look of utter shock. He’s surprised to see that despite his tears, Sirius is smirking in that bloody gorgeous way he _always_ does.

“What’re you- What’re you smirking at?” He questions, nearly growling with frustration when Sirius bursts into a loud peal of laughter. “Well, I mean, it shut you up, didn’t it?” His smirk transforms to a full-blown grin as he continues, “And Merlin’s pants, I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

It’s all far too much for Remus to handle.

Rising shakily to his feet he attempts a tight smile in Sirius’ direction and stutters out an, “I’m glad you’re feeling better,” before turning tail and hurrying out of the portrait door as fast as his aching feet can carry him. From far behind him he hears Sirius yell his name, but Remus doesn’t think even Professor Dumbledore could convince him to turn back right now.

-

Sirius stays up all night waiting for Remus to return.

When the other boy still isn’t there by the time James and Peter manage to drag themselves out of bed in the morning, Sirius really begins to panic. He tells James to excuse him from his classes, “Just say I’m in the hospital wing or something,” and rushes out of the dorm, searching every room on his way down the staircase. Remus is nowhere to be seen.

He’s not in the bathrooms, he’s not down in the Common Room itself, and he hasn’t fallen asleep outside the portrait, either.

He’s not in the library, any of their classrooms, the Shrieking Shack or any of the halls, and the last place Sirius can think of is the Hospital Wing. He’s almost there when James darts out from a passageway to his right, grabs him by the collar of his robes and throws him against the wall. “FOR MERLIN’S SAKE, SIRIUS. WILL YOU STOP FOR A SECOND?”

Surprisingly, it _actually_ works.

He straightens up and lets go of Sirius calmly, looking around to make sure nobody saw his moment of fatigue. He can’t have the school knowing that _James Potter_ gets tired from a few short sprints now, can he?

“What on Earth,” James gasps, “What on _Earth_ are you running about like a madman for?”

Sirius eyes him somewhat warily from where he’s still against the wall, before uttering a few short words.

“Remus... Disappeared in the middle of the night…”

“And you’re trying to find him?” James guesses, regarding his best mate with a raised eyebrow. When Sirius nods, a bemused smile stretches across James’ face, one that very evidently annoys Sirius.

“Did you forget about the map?” He asks incredulously, laughter bubbling in his throat as understanding dawns on Sirius’ face. “You did, didn’t you?” He chuckles, doubling over with the effort to contain himself. “Oh, Padfoot, you _are_ a riot. I had a feeling it was Remus you were after and took the liberty of checking where he was before making my way to halt your rampage.” James straightens up as he speaks, turning to lean against the wall beside his friend.

“He’s in the Hospital Wing, mate. He probably just felt sick in the night and decided to head in. You know how he gets aroun- How he gets sometimes,” James hisses the last part, watching calculatingly as Sirius breathes a sigh of relief.

“Oh, of course, yeah, yeah that’s probably it,” he exclaims, stumbling through his words in a most un-Sirius manner. “Well, well then, let’s uh, let’s go off to breakfast then, yeah?”

And so they do, James watching his friend concernedly the whole way there.

-

Remus doesn’t come to classes all day and by the time night falls and it’s almost safe to head for the forest, Sirius is just about beside himself. He’s been on edge all day and James is really starting to worry now. He knows that Sirius is protective of Remus, they all are, to an extent, but this is like nothing he’s ever seen. If anything, he’s reminding James of how he himself acted that time Lily disappeared after the first time he’d tried to profess his love for her- _Ah._

Understanding dawns suddenly, silently.

James has been aware of Sirius’ sexuality only one day less than the boy himself has; there really aren’t any secrets between the two of them. _Except for his crush on Remus_ , James thinks bemusedly, watching his best friend impatiently pace the length of their dorm room.

“Peter,” James says, turning to the smaller boy who’s sitting on his bed, biting his nails. “Could you go and check the Common Room for the map? I think I may have left it there earlier and we’re really going to need it tonight.” At his words, the short, stout boy jumps up immediately and hurries to exit the room, ever eager to help. James wishes it weren’t so easy to direct him, he always feels a bit mean when he does.

As soon as the door closes behind Peter, James walks over to where Sirius is standing. He’s gone still now, and for good reason. He would’ve known as soon as the words left James’ mouth that he was lying, because the two of them are both aware that Sirius currently has the map tucked safely inside of his robes, as always on full moon nights.

“You like Moony, don’t you?” James asks, cutting straight to the point. He watches the flicker of emotions on Sirius’ face, smiling despite himself. His friend catches the expression and frowns. “Is it- Is it that obvious?” Sirius murmurs, stalking to the end of his bed and sitting down with a huff. “I thought- I thought I was hiding it pretty well.”

James lets out a short laugh and shakes his head, sitting down beside his friend, his brother. “You were, believe me. I hadn’t a clue until your little show this morning. I was trying to understand what on Earth could be causing you to act the way you were, and then realized you were acting like I do with Li- With Evans,” He explains, nudging Sirius with his elbow. “So, what happened?”

Sirius sits still for only a few seconds, both of them aware that Peter could come back at any moment.

“Ikissedhimlastnightandhehasn’tcomebacksince,” Sirius rushes out all in one breath, and he speaks so fast that it takes James a short pause to figure out what he’s said. He turns to Sirius with a look of complete disbelief, mouth dropped open in shock. “You _what_?” He exclaims, jumping a mile in the air when the dormitory door swings open.

Peter stands in the doorway, panting and looking from one boy to the other in confusion. “Who did what?”

“ _He’s_ got the bloody map!” James recovers, ever calm in the face of calamity.

“Oh,” says Peter, nodding in understanding. “Yes well, that would make sense, I suppose. It wasn’t downstairs, after all. I thought I saw Alice throw it in the fire, but it must’ve just been a spare piece of parchment.”

The other two nod solemnly, praying the third boy won’t question them any further.

He doesn’t, of course, because it’s Peter, and Peter always takes their word for things. All the same, both James and Sirius heave quiet sighs of relief when Peter smiles and changes the topic.

“So, are we ready to go and see Moony, then?”

-

“He’s usually awake by now.” Remus vaguely registers the worried voice murmur coming somewhere above him. _I must be lying down._ “He’s usually conscious by the time I get to the shack but he's yet to move a muscle,” the voice continues, and with a start he realizes, _that’s Madam Pomfrey! I must be in the hospital wing! Already!? I can’t even remember yesterday!_

There’s a faint pressure on his fingers and his eyes flicker open in response, immediately meeting the worried gaze of- _Ah._ Sirius.

Memories flood back in quick succession; Him comforting Sirius, Sirius kissing him, him running to the hospital wing with the excuse of bad pains, _which to be fair weren’t a lie_ , Madam Pomfrey eventually giving him a sleep draught heavy enough to knock him out for twelve hours, which means he would’ve been out cold until- _Oh._

“How bad is it?” He groans, already beginning to register the many aches and pains in his body. His wrist almost feels as though it’s broken- _again_.

Sirius’ grimace confirms what he’s already thinking, and with a resigned sigh Remus simply shuts his eyes and tells them to, “Do their worst, really.”

 _He’s always so calm when it comes to his injuries_ , Sirius thinks, wishing he could do more. All he knows he _can_ do is simply be here and hold Remus’ hand through it all, and that never feels like anywhere near enough. _The amount of pain he must be in_ \- well, it doesn’t bare to think about.

Both Sirius and Remus wait patiently as Poppy Pomfrey works her magic and does what she can to get Remus’ body healing. When she’s satisfied with her efforts she spares a quick moment to smooth the hair off of the miserable looking boy’s forehead. Sirius wishes Remus could see the look of tenderness on her face right now; maybe then he might be more inclined to treat himself as more of a human. Pomfrey doesn’t view him as any less than anyone else, in fact if anything she cares more, they all do. Him, James, Peter, Mr and Mrs Lupin, even Dumbledore, for Merlin’s sake! They all see him as Remus, not as the Wolf, and he shouldn’t either.

As Poppy leaves, she hands Sirius a large bar of Honeydukes Chocolate and sets him with a stern gaze. ‘Make sure he eats it,’ she mouths, before nodding once firmly and slipping between the curtains of the hospital bed.

As soon as she’s gone, Sirius shifts from his seat. With gentle hands he moves Remus’ arm from where it’s splayed across the bed before carefully settling himself into the now free space. Remus can’t help but sigh in relief at the familiar contact.

Ever since his three friends had found out about his “furry little problem,” this had become somewhat of a routine. Every morning after the full moon, Sirius would slip in beside Remus and just lie there with him until it was time for class. In the beginning he’d tried to skip lessons, but when Remus had found out he’d berated Sirius so fiercely that the boy had promised to never do it again. Remus had yelled and sworn and said he under no circumstances wanted any of them to risk getting detention for him – though this had been heavily broken when the three had done the highly illegal deed of becoming Animagi. “All the more reason for you to not risk getting in trouble,” Remus had said, eyes flashing. “You definitely shouldn't be drawing any more negative attention to yourselves than you already do with a secret like _that_.”

When he’s given Remus a few minutes to breathe, Sirius rolls carefully onto his side to face the other boy. He smiles gently when their eyes meet, but can’t help frowning a little because Remus just looks so _tired_.

“Oh, Moony,” he sighs, reaching up to smooth his fingers against Remus’ forehead, much like Pomfrey had done just moments before. “I’m sorry for upsetting you,” he whispers, closing his eyes when Remus reaches up to place his shaky hand on top of Sirius’ own. “It’s okay,” the other boy whispers, voice hoarse. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not though,” Sirius protests quietly, eyes flashing open once more. He leans forward ever so slowly until their foreheads rest together. “Moony,” he begins, voice soft and gaze sincere. “Moony, Remus, I never want to be the reason you’re upset,” he whispers, pausing to take a short breath. “You’re so important to me. I always want to make sure you’re okay, I always want to make you smile and laugh and I never want to be the reason that you’re sad. I want to be here _for_ you when you’re sad, not bloody causing it in the first place!” He stops then, before he can get too heated, and is surprised to find that Remus is smiling.

“Oh, Padfoot. You do make me happy, you are here for me when I’m sad. You’re a better friend than I could ever ask for-“

“What if I want to be more than friends?”

Sirius’s question cuts him off short and for a second Remus is sure he will never remember how to breathe, but he does, of course. He sucks in one long, deep breath, staring at the other boy in shock. “I- What?” He whispers, tongue darting out to wet his lips nervously.

“Oh, don’t do that right now,” Sirius mutters, watching the action intently. “Remus, I like you so much that being away from you sometimes feels like it physically hurts- In fact, I definitely already love you, in a way, as do James and Peter. But Remus, I’d like to love you in every way, if you’ll let me,” he whispers, pulling back slightly to try and gage the other boy’s reaction.

“Do you mean that?” Remus asks slowly, eyes wide and teary. He never, ever in his wildest dreams thought that Sirius would ever think anything close to this about him. He knew- He suspected that the boy was gay, but this- Well-

“Remus, did you hear me? I said, _Of course I mean that_ ,” Sirius repeats, beginning to shift away a little more, disappointment and embarrassment flooding his face. Before he can get too far though, Remus, despite his weakened state, shoots one hand up to pull him back. “N-No, don’t- Don’t go,” he begs, voice a whisper. “Stay- I- Please stay. I- Can you- Can you shut me up again?” He blushes, almost groaning at his own lack of calm.

“Pardon?” Sirius asks, not quite cottoning on to what the other boy is insinuating.

And Remus, in the way that only he can, sighs, rolls his eyes and mutters, “I want you to hurry up and kiss me again, you _stinking idiot_.”


End file.
